this is what tumbled out

an offering from where i am today

hello my friend

i find myself once again
sitting in the sunshine of my sunshine room,
listening to the wild chorus
of country road critters.

there are sandhill cranes at the edge of the woods,
encouraging their two little babes
to move steadily along with them.

an oriole has flitted by in its bright magnificence
and the wind is just soft enough
to make the new leaves of the poplar tree
look like they are sparkling gems in the sun.

what scene are you seeing?

i sat down to write this morning + didn’t have words.
i didn’t feel pulled toward a specific story
or theme
or lesson
or quote.

i sat down with the intention to write
and ended up reading instead.

i read words about productivity.
about meditation.
about love.

i went back to an old journal
and read about limiting beliefs
about mountains
and grand ideas.

i read + read
until my heart wanted to pour
its own language onto a page.

this is what tumbled out…

i see myself more clearly,
with a deep breath + a subtle pause.

i see the difference between me
and the conditioned beliefs.

i surrender
and allow
the universe
to reorganize itself around the natural laws
of love + abundance

without the interference
of my limiting thoughts.

for i am
the love + abundance
that pushes swiftly past
the past that incessantly pushes back.

and

it always felt like greed
to wish for something good.

there was guilt wrapped up in wanting greatness.

i had to brave + brace
against the hurricane that came
when allowing my beliefs to shift + shake.

and it was painful to let go.
it felt unsafe to surrender.

but loosing those shackles
rewriting the script
was one of the holiest + most heartfelt things
i could have done.

did it cripple me?
no.

but the intensity of the intention
had me crawling, not running,
my way toward the light.

sometimes the captions are many.
the titles few.
the ideas simply scattered.

sometimes the willingness to show up
and let the process unfold
creates the momentum.

there’s not a through-line or a theme today.
no overarching arch.

just an ask for presence
in your present moment.

and an offering
to share mine.

loving you long distance,
darcel

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writings for purchase : spiritual whiskey

practice with me : insight timer + soul yoga fenton + ethos yoga + genesys health club

up + coming ways to connect : library meditation + yoga on the mount

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